When you’re at the bar with your friends don’t buy the first round of drinks. It took me years to figure out that I was getting screwed on this. When our group of friends went to the bars we’d always buy pitchers or rounds of drinks. I’d be the dipshit that would volunteer to buy the first round. That way I figured it was all the same and they would get rounds 2, 3, etc. in the correct rotation so the money would equal out. What always happened is I’d kick down for round 1 and then by round 3 everyone was scattered or doing their own thing so I couldn’t get my drink paid for, or even worse I bought round 1 and round 4 and then everyone would disappear. As much as I drank in college I’d be a millionaire right now if I figured this out sooner.
If you break it off with a girl be sure it’s 100% done – there’s no going back. Once you end a relationship with a girl it is always most healthy to give yourself distance and separation. Don’t do the make-up to break-up thing because that’s when people get really hurt. Put a lot of thought and soul searching into whether you want to end your relationship, and then do it definitively without looking back. Your instinct may be to stay friends or still have that person in your life. Don’t do it. It is absolutely impossible to be friends with someone who you just got out of a relationship with – there are too many bad feelings, hurt, and anger, and inevitably she will do something to make you jealous, hurt you, or try and bring you down. Hence the saying “hell hath no fury like a women scorned.” This is just a natural reaction, but women operate off of emotions, whether they are logical or not, and are very good at hiding their true intentions so be careful! If you really want to be friends with that person then let time pass and let both of you go separate ways and heal. Stay civil and in contact every once a while and down the road when the smoke has cleared and the anger and hurt is gone it’s possible to be true friends and have that person in your life. I’ve made this mistake many times in my life and have gotten slaughtered or screwed over every single time – so hopefully you learn from my stupidity!
Making choices with alcohol and drugs. As you grow up everyone in authority – teachers, community leaders, the news, and even me, your father and your mother – will tell you that drugs are bad and stay away from drugs. The reality is that people have been using mind-altering substances as long as mankind has been around. It’s up to you to think freely and form your own opinions about each drug with balanced information. So it’s about having the correct information about these substances and then making personal choices based on staying safe and healthy. Always know your own tolerance and err on the side of caution when infesting drugs or alcohol. Don’t over-do it and keep your common sense. Each person can handle it differently - some people have highly addictive personalities, or different substances affect them in different ways. I know some people who can’t handle their alcohol and drive drunk all the time (there will be a whole separate lesson on drunk driving), and some have a lot of fun with booze without it being harmful. When your father was young he was a nut job and experimented with almost every drug under the sun, but I never had an addictive personality, I always knew where I was and conscious of my situation, was around good people who has my back, and never lost my common sense while partying.
PLEASE come to me if you ever want to talk about drugs or alcohol. I promise you I will be honest and encourage you to be safe and healthy but allow you to make your own choices. Your friends or people at school may be doing certain things but don’t follow them just to be cool or succumb to peer pressure. Maybe I can help you understand why it’s good to wait until you’re a little older, hang out with the right people, and make smart decisions.
Here’s my personal opinion of these drugs:
Alcohol is great in moderation but some really bad shit happens when it’s abused in excess. Some of that shit that could happen is permanent and life-ruining if it involves someone driving while they are drunk.
Tobacco is disgusting, highly addictive, and has no upside – they do nothing more than deplete your money and health over your lifetime. If you want something to do then chew gum. If you want to look like a tough guy then go fight a big dude, but please don’t smoke cigarettes. My mom promised us as kids that if we didn’t smoke cigarettes by 18 years old then we’d each get $100, which seemed like a fortune when we were kids. I almost made it – I thought I was cool smoking cigarettes one night when I was 16 after I saw James Dean in “Rebel Without a Cause.” Three things I found out that led me to never smoke again – I am not that cool, I am not James Dean, and he is dead.
Marijuana is natural and far less harmful than alcohol. If used properly it can be relaxing, fun, and helps relieve stress or assists the creative process. At other times during history marijuana was legal and far less of a big deal then people make of it now. Look at the emergency rooms on a Saturday night and tell me how many of those accidents and overdoses come from marijuana. The answer, of course, will be none. Most of the reasons its illegal comes down to politics, profit, and the vested interest in it being illegal by the pharmaceutical industry, the (in)justice and prison industries, and energy companies, among others. If you choose to smoke weed then just don’t start too young when your mind and body are still being formed, don’t be a lazy ass – still play sports and get good grades, and don’t smoke too much of it because everything is best in moderation.
Never put a needle in your arm. Never touch crack or heroin because they are super highly addictive and one hit can mess you up forever.
I recommend staying away from the synthetic drugs – acid, ecstasy, etc. They mix them with too many other unknown chemicals and too much can go wrong if you get a bad batch. These things are literally altering the chemistry in your brain and all’s it takes is one evil hippie selling rat poison or drain cleaner and calling it acid to fry your brain like scrambled eggs.
Don’t take pills and drink at the same time. In fact don’t take ANY pills EVER unless you know exactly what it is and where it came from. A little pill can mess you up in a big way.
If you really want to trip and hallucinate then do mushrooms because they are natural. Just don’t eat too many and pass out cold at a Phish show in Lincoln, Nebraska like your pops.
Coke is dirty and the people who do it regularly tend to be dirty.
If you want to get an education spend $2 on a library card – you can read the same books as the smartest student at Harvard or Yale can read. Reading is the single best way to get a true education by expanding your mind with the knowledge and experiences that so many others have lived and written down.
If you want a college degree then please realize that that’s different from getting an education. It’s great to go to college for the experience, you can learn a ton both in and out of the classroom, and earn a degree. These days a regular bachelors degree doesn’t mean nearly as much as it used to. It’s really just a prerequisite to the job market but in itself won’t give you a competitive advantage.
If you want to get a general bachelors degree or study the arts that is fine but don’t compile large amounts of student loans in the process because it won’t pay you back in terms of real dollars in the job market. If you want to think practically then get a degree in something specific and technical (computers, technology, prelaw, premed, etc.). Don’t overpay for a general bachelors degree.
If a girl cheats on you then the relationship is automatically 100% done. If she did it once she will do it again guaranteed and you don’t want her. Respect yourself by walking away and keep your pride intact by not being physical with her again – even though she will try to use that to get you back. Keep it moving.
Stay physically fit. Every single day do something for your health and fitness. Getting in these good habits will serve you well the rest of your life. Playing sports is great, as is going to the gym, and running is the best way to stay lean. But the best workout is the most simple – what I call the “jailhouse workout.” You can stay in great shape doing pushups, situps, pullups, tricep dips squats, and having a couple dumbbells or a curling bar to do curls and shoulders. Run or jump rope for cardio. You can do this for the rest of your life with very little equipment at home in a short amount of time so there will never be an excuse not to work out every day. If you let yourself go it is so much harder to get back in shape, especially the older you get.
There are no “get rich quick schemes” but there are plenty of “get broke quick schemes.” I can’t tell you how many multi-level marketing scams, real estate hedge funds, and bad business deals I’ve seen (or fallen for). Think of it like this – if it was that easy to make money then EVERYONE would do it, and the people pushing it probably wouldn’t want to share it but keep it to themselves. Don’t believe the hype. Most stocks, investments, etc. only operate on the peaks and valleys of consumer confidence and perception. Never invest more money then you are willing to lose without hurting you. Start slowly with a company and PEOPLE you really believe in. Never let someone rush you or put a deadline on your investment. Never trust “special” systems, software, or inside information. Never invest in a business that is dependent on one person’s knowledge or ability to do their job. Don’t invest in anything that has a religious affiliation. Collect information and documentation about the investment and the people involved, get references and referrals, then go back and do your own research and due diligence.
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